


Camp Mount Haunt

by MercuryHomophony



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M, Summer Camp Counselor AU, and that Bill should never be left alone with kids!, in which Dipper realizes hes not that bad with kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-08 20:04:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4318074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercuryHomophony/pseuds/MercuryHomophony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from CrispyCh0colate: Billdip, where they're camp counselors!</p><p>Dipper didn't even want this job - taking care of a bunch of kids for a week did not seem like a fun use of his summertime, and frankly he's not sure if Bill is here to help, or make things worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Okay, but what happened to Louis?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crispyCh0colate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispyCh0colate/gifts).



“Alright everyone, line up! …one, two, three, four,” Dipper mumbled under his breath, trying to figure out exactly how many kids there were in his group. He hadn’t  _wanted_  this job, hadn’t  _needed_  this job, but now that he was here, he was going to do his damnedest to make sure none of the kids got lost under his watch. “Guys, seriously, in a line – we have to do role call before we can get started with the cool stuff!” Thankfully, they actually listened this time, quieting down in eager anticipation for “The Cool Stuff” at Camp Mount Haunt, advertised as the scariest, most exciting camp in this side of the states. Which is why Mabel had signed him up for it, apparently.

“Oh, come on!” she’d begged. “Think about it, it’ll be great! You’ll be in a camp filled with young minds ready to get into the paranormal! You’ll be like, a mentor to them! Can’t you imagine how excited  _you_ would be in their place?” When she saw he was hesitating, giving in  _just_  a bit, she delivered the final blow. “Plus, I hear Mount Haunt has some really spooky history, and that the ghost its named for only shows up once a year – during the camping trip!” She waggled the brochure in his face like bait. “No one’s ever proooooved it though~!” she sing-songed.

He scowled, snatching the brochure from her. She knew he couldn’t say no to a mystery like that.

Even if it was likely just a ploy to get kids on the campgrounds.

“Oooh, ooooh, Counselor Pines?” one kid shouted, raising his hand in the air and waving it wildly. Dipper lowered his clipboard, sighing inwardly.

“Yes, Jacob?”

“Counselor Pines, why do all the other groups have two counselors and we only have one?”

Dipper sighed visibly this time. “Because they haven’t shown up yet.” Like they hadn’t shown up for training, or counselor move-in, or orientation, or pretty much anything else. At this point, the 18-year old was certain that he was going to be stuck dealing with seven little kids, all by himself, on a week long camping trip.

Yeah, this was going to be  _so_  much fun. Just the  _best_.

“Hey there, kiddos! Sorry I’m late!”

Dipper froze at the high pitched voice, turning slowly to stare at the newcomer.

One gleaming gold eye winked at him from a narrow midnight face. Obnoxiously yellow hair spilled over the remaining eye in front, although the sides and the back were trimmed to a modest inch or so. His attire would have looked more appropriate in an office than on the campgrounds, with a collared black button-down and a silky gold vest with tasteful blue and black accents. The man bounced on the balls of his feet, shiny black shoes clicking against one another.

And, tying it all together, was that enormous, shit-eating grin.

“Bill,” Dipper started slowly, “what, exactly, do you think you’re doing?”

Bill didn’t answer him, just swept up to face the kids and throwing a tight arm around the teen’s shoulder in the process. “Good to meet you all! I’m Bill, your replacement counselor. I’m afraid Louis had a little…” and he glanced over at Dipper, who swore he saw the glint of blue fire in his eye, “… _accident_ , and couldn’t make it! So you guys get me! Whoo!”

“One second guys – Bill and I are gonna have a quick chat!” Dipper pulled the demon out of earshot from the kids, keeping them in site. “Bill. What the fuck are you doing.”

Bill tsk'ed disapprovingly. “Language, Pine Tree! How are you going to set a good example if you’re swearing like that?”

“Set a good -! Bill! You’re an actual demon!” Dipper hissed. “You can’t seriously be here to play camp counselor! You’re not even dressed appropriately!”

Bill snorted derisively, shaking Dipper’s hand from his arm. “What, like it’s hard?” he sneered. “I watched over you and your sister for  _six years_  -”

“ - Bill you were trying to kill us for four of those -”

“And look how well you two turned out!” Bill grinned wickedly. “If anything, the little brats will learn some important lessons about the supernatural! Isn’t that what they’re here for?”

“They’re here to go to  _camp,_  and have  _fun,_  like normal. Kids, Bill!”

“Psh, there’s no fun in that!” Bill protested, before looping an arm around Dipper’s neck, pulling him in. “I believe you and I  _both_  know that,” he said conspiratorially, voice dipping an octave. He laughed when Dipper shuddered, squirmed and pushed him away.

“Dude, don’t.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “You’re not gonna go away, are you.”

Bill laughed at the boy’s resigned tone. “What clued you in?”

Dipper rolled his eyes. “Look, I don’t wanna bother arguing with you. It’s not worth it and I’ll just end up with a headache. But I can  _not_  let you traumatize these kids. So…” He scrunched his face in distaste, opening and closing his mouth a few times before spitting out, “How about a deal?”

“Ooh?” The kid had Bill’s attention. “What were you thinking, Pine Tree?”

“You can stay, and I won’t say anything, but in return you have to behave yourself. No scaring the kids past a normal,  _sane_  camp counselor, no huge shows of magic, and absolutely No. Public. Displays. Of affection.”

Bill rolled his eye. “Kid, you’re really a stick in the mud, you know that?”

“Do we have a deal?”

Bill made a show of thinking it over, pursing his lips to one side, raising an eyebrow, and giving a long “Hmmmm…” Dipper fidgeted, impatient.

“Bill, the kids are waiting for us to get back. Do we have a deal or not?”

Bill took a deep breath, letting out the most dramatic sigh he could manage with these goofy human chest balloons. “Yeaaaah, we have a deal.” He held out one hand, a subtle version of his usual blue flame floating in his palm. “Shake on it.”

Dipper scowled, but took his hand, shaking it once firmly before pulling back like it was a poisonous snake. Bill laughed.

This week was going to be great.


	2. Teaching or Trauma?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill's a dick.

Bill hated everything. He hated the sun, he hated the oppressive heat, he hated the kids who kept running around and chattering loudly, and he  _particularly_  hated that one kid who had taken to pestering him about his hidden eye. It had been cute the first time, watching this little brat build up the courage to ask him, timidly, about his hidden ocular, but after nearly a day of hiking? Not so much.

He also hated Pine Tree, at the moment. Hated his “no overt magic,” deal, which apparently also meant no magical cooling. Apparently it would be “too obvious” in this kind of heat. He especially hated the smug, knowing glances Pine Tree kept shooting back at him. The teen had elected to take the lead, after a brief (and entertaining, Bill thought) verbal argument with himself on whether Bill was more likely to screw with the trip in the lead or from behind.

(Bill had innocently dropped the comment that he’d much rather screw  _Pine Tree_  from behind, which had earned him some angry sputtering and a tomato-red Dipper.)

Speaking of, the teen was talking now, describing some of the flora they were passing, and its potential supernatural uses. Likely the kids believed them to be just stories, made up by the camp to help lend to the ghostly mystery atmosphere. Bill rolled his eyes. Boring.

This whole  _mountain_  was boring! It was supposed to be a supernatural hotspot, he’d give it that, but compared with a place like Gravity Falls? It was child’s play. They’d been walking for hours, and they had yet to spot a single supernatural -

Oh! He’d spoken too soon! He fell back a little away from the group, scanning the treeline once again. He grinned, crouching down and scooping up a stone.

Sure, Pine Tree made him promise to be on his best behavior… but, he was gonna call this a learning experience. After all, these kids were here to get to know the supernatural, right?

With expert aim, he launched the rock, stifling his gleeful giggles as it thudded audibly against his target’s leathery hide. He ducked down further, and when it turned the first thing it saw, as Bill had hoped, was Pine Tree and the group.

This was gonna be  _good._

 

xx

 

Dipper was having a  _blast_. The kids had settled down once they’d actually started, and he was finding that, maybe having to take care of a bunch of kids for a week wouldn’t be all that bad. They were all pretty interested in what he had to say, both about general wilderness survival knowledge and supernatural topics, and Alonzo had been badgering Bill  _nonstop_ , keeping the isosceles monstrosity out of his hair. The demon looked _miserable_ , sweating like a pig (sorry, Waddles) in his fancy outfit under the hot summer sun. He kept shooting glares at Dipper, and Dipper just returned them with a smile. He didn’t feel bad one bit – after all, it’s not like he made Bill come along.

One of the kids tugged his sleeve, pulling him back to reality. “Counselor Pines, what’s this?” the kid asked, pointing to a spiky, flowering plant lining the trail. Dipper smiled, calling the group to take a brief break while he educated them about it.

“That’s salmonberry – it’s a native plant that grows in thick brambles…”

As he spoke, he glanced up at Bill, ready to silently gloat yet again. His words died in his throat.

Bill wasn’t there.

That was all the warning he got before a roar shook the forest, startling the kids. Several of them screamed, and one or two ran to Dipper, clutching him in terror.

Dipper was scared too, but for a different reason. He knew that roar. “Kids, get behind me, and  _look down_! Don’t look directly at it!” The kids scrambled to obey, and he slung his bag from his shoulder, digging through the pockets quickly. “Where… shoot, where is it?” he hissed, glancing up towards the sound. He was glad he kept his eyes low – but he could see the beast now, barreling towards them, stubby legs pounding, maw opening in a deafening roar, and eyes -

Dipper wrenched his eyes back down. ‘Don’t look in the eyes, don’t look in the eyes,’ he chanted mentally. To stare into the Gremgoblin’s eyes would be fatal for the whole group.

Fortunately, at that point his hand clasped around the object he’d been searching for. “Yes!” He pulled a mirror out and held it in front of him, the Gremgoblin only meters away.

It pulled to a hasty stop, but not hasty enough, bowling Dipper over as the kids darted out from behind him in panic. Dipper grit his teeth as the back of his head collided with the ground, but kept the mirror up. If this didn’t work, he was  _dead_ , and he would haunt the  _shit_ outta Bill, demon or no!

But the Gremgoblin on top of him was silent, practically eye-to-eye with itself in the mirror. There was a long moment, during which Dipper worried he’d be crushed before it left, but then the creature let out a hideous sob, kicking Dipper  _hard_  in the gut as it jumped off of him, fleeing back into the forest.

Dipper lay, winded and gasping for breath, as the kids slowly came out of hiding.

“Did it kill him?” “No, he’s breathing!” “Counselor Pines, are you okay?” “How’d he scare it off?” “Is he bleeding?”

“Kids,” a familiar voice cut in, and Dipper grit his teeth angrily. “Pine Tree will be fine. But, I think this would be a  _great_  time to learn some first aid!” If there hadn’t been kids around, and if his lungs hadn’t currently been _burning_  for air, he would have cussed that triangle out. He didn’t know  _how_ , exactly, but this was definitely his fault.

That said, he didn’t protest when Bill gently cleaned and bandaged the cut on the back of his head, explaining the process to the kids the whole time.

(He  _did_  protest when Bill used him as a model to explain exactly  _which_  spots on the neck were best for fatal stabbing.)

 

xx

 

They made good time that day, and by nightfall, they’d already completed two thirds of the hike up. That put them actually ahead of the recommended program, and so, despite a  _certain_  minor setback, Dipper could honestly say things were going well. After their initial terror, the kids had been  _ecstatic_  about the monster attack, asking Dipper nonstop questions about what it was, how he knew how to beat it, what  _else_ he had seen, and the like. Mabel had been right – a lot of these kids were a lot like him, at their age. Dipper was glad to answer, and that whole evening, after they’d set up their bedrolls and lit a small cooking fire, he and Bill took turns telling stories about the different creatures they’d encountered. Dipper made sure to correct common superstitions (like, the effectiveness of silver bullets on werewolves.  _Any_  bullet would work on a werewolf – but only for a minute or so). Bill, he wasn’t so sure about. He seemed to contradict himself once or twice, but that was pretty normal for him. He didn’t seem to be lying any more than he usually did, though, so Dipper let it slide.

Eventually, however, it was time for bed. There were some yawned protests, but they were easily appeased with promises of more monster stories tomorrow.

“And ghosts!” one girl, Alexei, pushed. “We’re at Mount Haunt to see ghosts, so we should know about them beforehand! Her camp-mates mumbled sleepily in agreement. Dipper chuckled.

“Alright, tomorrow we’ll tell you all about handling ghosts,” he promised, dousing the rest of the fire and picking up his flashlight. “Everyone have their emergency light?”

Seven flashlights turned on in unison and shone directly into his face. He winced. “Good, okay, wow, didn’t ask you to turn them on.” They clicked back off, but not without one or two giggles. He blinked, trying to rid himself of the spots in his vision. As his eyes readjusted, he looked over to Bill.

“Watch over them for a sec? I’ll be right back.”

The demon, sitting back against a tree with one long leg crossed over the other, hummed acknowledgment. Quietly, Dipper moved away from the camp before flicking his light off. He made a slow, careful circle just out of view of the clearing, chanting under his breath and using the tell-tale blue glow around his hand to light the way. He was almost finished warding the sleep-grounds when a shadow pulled itself away from the forest.

Moving quickly, he darted forward, just managing to complete the circuit before something grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into a tree.

His head spun briefly, the ache from his earlier injury now rekindled by the impact. His attacker took advantage of his stunned state to rip open the top few buttons on his shirt, parting the fabric to display more of his neck and the top of his collarbone. He had just begun to struggle when he caught sight of the eyes, one golden and one blue, glowing mischievously from his attacker’s face. He stopped struggling, glaring back angrily.

“Bill, what the hell?” he snapped, reaching up to break the demon’s grip on his shirt. When Bill refused to let go, he quickly gave up, trying to glare harder. “Let go. You’re supposed to be looking after the kids.”

“They’re fine,” the demon purred, leaning in to nuzzle softly at his exposed neck. Dipper squirmed, trying to tilt his head and block the demon’s access. Bill just chuckled darkly.

“Playing hard to get tonight?” he whispered directly in the teen’s ear, sending chills down his spine. “I could be down for that…” Dipper redoubled his squirming.

“Seriously, Bill, the kids -”

“Are  _fine_ , Pine Tree! You just put up a very nice little barrier – aside from spiders and chipmunks, nothing supernatural is gonna get them.” He moved for the teen’s neck again.

“What about our deal?” Dipper asked, his voice squeaking more than he’d like to admit. “No public displays of affection, remember?”

Bill’s lips moved over his neck, applying just a bit of pressure against his pulse as he smiled. “Funny, this doesn’t look very public to me,” he giggled, before letting his teeth brush over the young man’s flesh. “If anything, it seems…” he pressed closer, effectively pinning Dipper against the tree. “… _intimate._ ” His teeth dug in slightly, and Dipper let out a shaky breath, eyes fluttering closed as he relaxed, the last of his resistance melting away…

“Counselor Pines, look out!”

Something bounced off the side of Bill’s head, and Dipper snapped out of his reverie. Bill pulled away slightly, still gripping Dipper’s shirt tightly as his hair fell back over his blue eye. The two of them stared incredulously at the newcomers.

Three of the campers were staring Bill down – the ringleader, Dipper recognized as Alonzo, the kid who’d been badgering Bill all day. Alonzo was holding something small in one hand, and his companions, ghost girl Alexei and a boy, Ronald, who had been too eager during Bill’s jugular lesson, each held short sticks, pointed threateningly at the demon. A pungent smell wafted up to Dipper, and he looked down at the object the kids had nailed Bill with.

“…did you just throw garlic at him?”

“Yeah!”

“…why did you throw garlic at him?” Dipper asked, although he was pretty sure he knew the reason. He fought back the laughter that threatened to bubble up from his throat, shooting a glance at Bill. Fortunately, the demon looked more baffled than angry.

“He’s a vampire!” Ronald exclaimed, waving his stick. “He complained about the sun all day -”

“- he’s got spooky eyes -”

“- he keeps calling us 'meat sacks’ -”

“- he’s got  _fangs!_ ”

“- he knows  _exactly_  where to bite someone’s neck -”

“ _And_  he’s trying to turn you into part of his undead army!” Alonzo finished with a flourish, holding another lump of garlic aloft threateningly. “Don’t worry, Counselor Pines, we won’t let him!”

Dipper had to fight harder to suppress the urge to giggle. To be fair, it was a perfectly reasonable conclusion to come to – had he been in their place, he might have thought the same thing! “Kids, he’s not a vampire -”

“That’s what he wants you to think!”

“Guys, seriously.” He tried to push the demon away, and thankfully Bill released him, stepping back. “Bill isn’t a vampire.”

“Then why was he biting your neck just now?”

Dipper hesitated, slowly turning to shoot Bill a glare. The demon grinned back sheepishly. “Bill’s just a weird guy; let’s leave it at that,” he said dryly. The kids didn’t seem mollified. He sighed. “Look, vampires don’t have reflections, right?” The kids all nodded. “I’ve got a mirror in my bag. We’ll just see if he has a reflection, and that’ll prove it.”

It took awhile for the kids to be satisfied, especially when the  _other_  kids woke up, and insisted that  _they_  check Bill, then wanted to check Dipper as well, just in case. Finally, Dipper manged to get them all snugly back in their bedrolls, and after double checking that they were all accounted for, he climbed into his. As he wriggled in, getting comfortable, he looked over at Bill, sitting back against his tree.

“Are you going to sleep?”

The demon’s golden eye glowed in the dark, swiveling to stare back. “I don’t need to sleep, Pine Tree,” he answered, uncharacteristically quiet. The eye turned skyward again, peering up at the stars through the trees. _“sweet dreams.”_

Dipper felt sleep take him, head hitting the pillow with a thump. When he opened his eyes in the mindscape, Bill’s lustful eyes and sinful grin swallowed him whole.


	3. Confess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper is tired of Bill's attitude, and he's gonna get to the bottom of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iiiiit got extended a chapter :3

They were halfway through the week, and Dipper could honestly say that things were going better than he had expected. They had finished the hike to the campsite on the second day, rejoining with the rest of the campers. Their group of kids, after clearing up the debate on whether Bill was undead or not (consensus was “no,” but they were still not convinced he was human, and Dipper didn’t bother trying to convince them) seemed to warm up to the demon a little more. To Dipper’s great surprise and relief, Bill seemed to be doing the same.

Unfortunately, this didn’t apply to Dipper. He and the demon hadn’t always had the nicest of ‘relationships,’ if that was what you called it, but Dipper usually knew where he stood at any given time. He and Bill would run around Gravity Falls, antagonizing each other, maybe lending a hand if Bill was feeling generous, and occasionally... well, let’s just say Dipper was a lot more experienced in the bedroom than most people would think. Every now and then, though, they’d really butt heads, and Dipper would have nightmares for days on end. They hardly phased him anymore, but they were a pretty clear indication that Bill was mad at him. And the worst thing about Bill being mad at him was that it took so long for the demon to get over it.

That was why his current behavior was driving Dipper crazy. In terms of the kids, and the other counselors, Bill was practically _normal_ for once. Sure, he let loose a little in front of their own group - he’d caught the demon teaching the kids exactly how to take down actual supernatural creatures, and spotted him once or twice doing simple magic for them - but when it came to the other counselors and kids, he might as well have been the eccentric young man he appeared to be.

But to Dipper? The demon had been downright bipolar. One moment he’d be ignoring the human, lurking around and sulking, and the next he’d be practically on top of him, leering. If it had been one or the other, Dipper would have been fine. He was pretty used to the wide variety of emotions their relationship went through. But the demon never switched this quickly, and not knowing where stood in relation to the demon was something that unnerved him deeply.

Bill didn’t keep it to the day, either. While he hadn’t tried to make a move on him while awake since the first night, each night after Dipper’s dreams ranged from absolutely sinful to absolutely scarring. One on the fourth night had managed to be both.

Dipper had woken up with the strangest boner that day...

They were on the fifth day of this back-and-forth behavior, though, and Dipper’s patience was starting to run out. The kids were supposed to be working with the whole camp right now, and he and Bill were going to be allowed a thirty minute break.

Time to face his demon.

He arrived at the edge of the camp, and kept walking, heading slightly off the path. He was unsurprised when Bill seemed to materialize behind him, arms sliding over his shoulder and around his waist. He stopped, and the demon pulled him flush against him, nuzzling his face into the human’s hair.

“Hello there, Pine Tree,” he murmured playfully. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to stray from the path?”

Dipper sighed, already exhausted by the thought of having this conversation. “Cut the crap, Bill. What’s going on with you?”

The demon stilled behind him, but quickly resumed moving his hands over Dipper’s body. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about,” his voice hissed past Dipper’s ear, and the young man could practically imagine what his face looked like, teeth slightly bared, eyes slitted, either in anger or in lust, it was nearly impossible to tell.

“Bullshit. You’ve been acting weird...er, all week.” The hand on his chest paused, resting over his heart, while the arm around his waist pulled him closer, allowing the demon to grind against him. Dipper bit his lip, steadying himself. “No distractions, Bill. What’s going on?”

He winced as Bill’s fingers arched, claw-like nails digging into his chest. He tried to push himself away from the pressure, but he was caught between the demon’s arms and chest. Sharp teeth nipped at his ear, clicking dangerously.

“Why don’t you tell me?” Bill demanded. Dipper tried to twist his head to look at the demon, but had hardly moved when Bill’s hand snapped up from his chest, locking itself around the man’s throat. “After all, you’re the reason we’re _here_.”

Dipper didn’t bother to struggle, just hoped that Bill wouldn’t bother tightening his grip too much. “Mabel’s the reason I’m here,” he grit out. “And you don’t _have_ to be here, so I don’t understand _why_ -”

“What am I going to do in Gravity Falls, Pine Tree?” the demon snarled. “In this meatsack? Antagonize some gnomes? Harass your Grunkles?” He growled. “Without you there, I’d be bored to _tears_. And you’ve finished high school now; don’t think I don’t know what _that_ means!”

“I’m not sure _I_ understand what that means...”

The demon released him, spun him around and had him back by the throat in a second. The pressure of his hand against his jaw forced Dipper up on his toes, and even then he could feel a significant push against his windpipe.

“Don’t play dumb with me, _Dipper Pines_ ,” and now the human knew Bill was _really_ upset. “I’ve been watching Gravity Falls for years, you think I don’t _know_?” He punctuated this with a shake, and Dipper’s hands flew up to grasp at Bill’s arm, searching for reprieve. The demon pulled him in close, so they were nearly eye to eye. Blue and gold blazed in his face as it contorted in anger. “You’re _leaving_ Gravity Falls!”

“...ghuhk?”  
Bill dropped him, and Dipper’s knees buckled. He fell to the ground, managing to catch himself in an awkward crouch at the last moment. Massaging his throat, he looked up, watching the demon pace back and forth.

“I’ve seen it happen _countless_ times before,” he was saying, hands gesticulating wildly. “They grow up, they head out to seek their fortune, or to find new lands, or to go to _college_... and they never come back!”

Dipper coughed, grimacing, before rasping “Bill...”

The demon took no notice. “Sure, they promise to visit, but suddenly it’s ‘Ooh, I have a test’ this and ‘Wehh I promised my fleshbag roommate’ that, and you end up coming back maybe a week every few years.” He glared down at the human, who was still trying to speak. “So your last summer here... your last summer _with me_ , and you choose to spend a _whole week_ of it here?!”

“...Bill.”

“And when I make the effort to come all the way here, out of Gravity Falls, which mind you, is a pain in the ass to do -”

“Bill!” Dipper finally managed to raise his voice above a scratchy whisper. The demon stopped his tirade, glaring sullenly at the human. Dipper schooled his features into something serious.

It wouldn’t do for Bill to realize he was laughing inside.

“Where did you get the idea I was _leaving_?”

Bill’s glare darkened. “I may not be as all-seeing as I used to be, Pine Tree,” he snapped, “but anyone would have seen those pamphlets on your bed. And! I overheard you and Shooting Star talking about moving the other day.” He snorted derisively. “Like any college could give you the education I could offer.”

Oooh, Dipper wanted to pry into that last statement so badly, but first he had to appease Bill before he _really_ got violent. He sighed, rubbing one hand over his face. “Those pamphlets are _Mabel’s_ , Bill - she asked me to look them over and see what I thought.”

“One of them had the journalism major circled, and in your handwriting, ‘Goal degree.’ You can’t tell me that was Shooting Star.”

Dipper gave him an odd look. “Alright, first off, that one was in my desk, not on my bed - why were you in there to begin with?” The demon didn’t respond, just arched one eyebrow. “Alright, fine. Secondly, that’s an online degree, Bill. As in, off campus.”

There was a beat of silence as the demon took that information in. “Oh.” More silence. “But... you’re still leaving Gravity Falls to do it at home.”

“Mabel was talking about moving _out_ , to _her_ college. She was also helping me with the logistics of moving _in_ , permanently, at the Mystery Shack.”

Bill stared owlishly at Dipper, who was having a harder and harder time not laughing. His lip quirked up, and he forced it still. Bill caught the movement, though. His eyes narrowed.

“You’re laughing at me.”

Whelp, no point in lying. “I’m trying my hardest not to,” he replied, smile slowly spreading over his face. “But you have to admit, the fact that a demon basically just admitted he’d miss me is kinda...”

Bill glared again, before it melted, reforming into something darker and more deviant. “Well then,” he murmured, stalking closer. He reached down with one hand and lifted Dipper back to his feet, gently grabbing the human’s chin in one hand. “I’ll just have to wipe that grin off your face...”  
“Dipper! Bill!”

Dipper practically jumped back, throwing Bill off balance. The demon glared at him, mouth open to retort, but another counselor broke into the clearing first.

“There you two are!” she cried, looking out of breath and more than a little upset. “We’ve been looking for you!”

“Sorry, we were just... walking...” Dipper lied guiltily. Bill’s eye-roll certainly didn’t help his case. “What’s up?”

“It’s your group.” Dipper’s heart stopped.

“They’re gone!”

 


	4. HELLO CHILDREN IT IS GHOST TIME-Wait what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper Panics, Bill is Helpful(?) and The Children are Gone

“Where could they have _gone_?” Dipper and Bill were, unfortunately, paired up as all of the camp counselors searched the woods around the campgrounds. “They were with all the other campers before we left. They couldn’t have gotten this far...”

Bill just shrugged. “They’re probably fine, Pine Tree, calm down.”

“But why would they leave the camp? It’s like, the last day up here! Ugh!” Dipper grabbed his hair, tugging anxiously. Bill reached over and loosened their grip, taking the human’s hands into his own.

“Kid, think about it logically,” Bill chided. “These kids are just like you were, when you were their age. If you were in their shoes, why would _you_ run away from camp?”

Dipper paused, frantic mind running over the options. “I’d...” What would he have done? If he was his younger self, at a haunted campground, he’d...

Oh no.

“...they’re looking for the ghost...” he breathed. Bill leaned in slightly.

“Come again, Pine Tree?”

“Bill, they’re looking for that _ghost_ , the one the camp is freaking named for!” He pulled free of the demon’s grip, scanning the trees. “Where... there!”

The campgrounds were at the second highest point on the mountain, a large clearing just to the south of Mount Haunt’s most recognizable landmark... Mount Haunt Peak, a large, jagged mess of stone and caves that jutted up from the forested top of the mountain.

Dipper stared up at the rocky face, only partially visible through the trees, and ran a hand over his face. “Uuugh, that’s where the brochure said the ghost lives, right? They probably went to investigate.” A horrible thought struck him. “Oh my god, what if they try to climb it?! They could get hurt, or...!” he cut himself off with a high, anxious whine.

“So... what do we do, then?” the demon asked nonchalantly, clearly not as affected by this as Dipper was. “Let them to their own devices? Ooh!” He grinned gleefully. “Maybe they’ll get eaten by something!”

“Bill!”

“What?”

Dipper growled. “We have to go after them! They can’t go running around alone... and they _certainly_ aren’t prepared to do any ghost hunting!” He looked back in the direction of camp, brow furrowing. “If we go now, though, the other counselors searching will wonder where we went...”  
“Nope!” Dipper heard a snap of fingers, and glanced back over at the demon. Bill smirked  mischievously back at him, a blue glow lingering in his palm. “They won’t wonder about us until we get back, and by that point,” he lifted his arms disarmingly, “it’ll be a moot point!”

Dipper nodded, turning towards the mountain... then paused. He heard Bill walk up behind him. “Well, Pine Tree? Aren’t we running out of time? I mean, all of you fleshbags are, really, but...”

Dipper slowly turned around, narrowing his eyes at Bill. “You’re being... strangely helpful right now,” he said deliberately. Bill rolled his eyes.

“Geeze, Pine Tree, now you’re going to be paranoid? With your camp kids on the line? Get your priorities straight,” the demon huffed, crossing his arms. Dipper shook his head.

“No, no, not until you tell me what’s going on in your head - you are _never_ this helpful unless something’s up, and I’m not about to walk straight into some trap. So spill.”

Bill rolled his eyes again, this time tilting his head along with the motion. “For fucks sake, kid, maybe I’m just in a good mood because I’m excited about tormenting you in Gravity Falls for the foreseeable future. Did you think of that?” He pressed his hands against his chest in a dramatic display. “Did you, perhaps, consider _my_ feelings on the matter?” He pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “After all, if these kids go missing... I’m gonna have a hard time messing with you in _jail_.” His voice was teasing, but Dipper felt a lump of dread form in his gut. He hadn’t even considered what might happen to him if something _permanent_ happened to the kids. “So, now that we’re pretty sure _where_ they’ve gone, why don’t we actually get on _doing_ something about it, hmm?”

Dipper grit his teeth angrily at the condescension dripping from the demon’s voice. He hated when the demon was right. “Alright, yes, fine. But!” And here, he jabbed a threatening finger at Bill’s face. “If I find out that you were trying to hurt these kids, I swear to _God_ -”

“Don’t bother, kid,” Bill said, swatting the hand out of his face and chuckling. “God doesn’t listen.”

 

xx

 

They’d gone to the peak, trailing along the steep walls for a good half hour before Dipper finally caught sight of something that looked even remotely climbable. And even better -

“Footprints!” he exclaimed with relief, examining the ground. In the dirt, he could see a spattering of sneaker patterns, disappearing up a rocky path. “They must be further up.”

Anxiety was eating him up as they climbed the trail. It was tough going - the path was steep, and there were a few places where it thinned to nearly nothing, with a sheer drop on one side and cliff face on the other. He fretted at each stop, peering down into the fading light of the day, wondering if maybe, one of the kids had fallen.

Surprisingly, Bill was the one who kept him moving at those times, pointing out that if anyone _had_ fallen, the kids would’ve likely stayed there or headed back. Bill also caught him a few times when he stumbled, laughing the whole time. Dipper wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or grateful.

Then again, that was par for the course dealing with the demon.

Dipper was long since exhausted when he started to hear the voice. He paused, holding up a hand signaling Bill to do the same.

“...do you hear that?” he asked. The demon’s eyes glinted in the dark, tilting slightly.

“Hear what?” Dipper growled at the playful tone.

“That _voice_ , Bill, do you hear that?” Faintly, from higher up or maybe just further ahead, Dipper could make out a voice. It sounded... feminine, and calm. “That doesn’t sound like the kids... Do you know anything about the ghost here?”

He heard a rustle from Bill shrugging. “I’m not the monster hunter here, Pine Tree - that’s your division.”

“...I haven’t had a chance to ask any of the other counselors... I’ve been too busy taking care of the kids,” Dipper admitted. Bill laughed.

“And what a job you’ve done of that, huh?” Dipper turned to snap at him, but a gloved hand covered his mouth before he could. “Hold up... I think I hear that voice you’re on about.” Dipper’s complaint was stifled by the glove. “Sounds like it’s not too far.”

Dipper ripped the hand away from his face, gasping. “Quit that!” he hissed, pulling away and taking a few steps along the path. “We have to find out what it is - if its the ghost, and the kids are there...” Shit, he left his holy water back in his pack, before they’d started searching. He might be able to incant it away, but...

“Pine Tree, you’re thinking too hard,” Bill drawled, patting his shoulder. “You’ve got an actual demon with you - a measly little ghost isn’t going to give us any problems.”

Dipper scowled over his shoulder. “Like you’d actually back me up on this? Can I _trust_ you to really help?”

Bill’s grin chilled him to the bone. “Why, Pine Tree, I’m offended,” he rumbled dangerously. The grip on his shoulder tightened slightly. “To think that after our lovely moment in the woods earlier, I’d let some pitiful ghost take you away from me?” He leaned in close, Dipper craned his neck to pull away to no avail. “You’re _mine_ , kid,” he breathed, nose to nose with Dipper, who was having a hard time keeping track of his breathing-

Before the demon pulled away abruptly, giving the human a hearty pat on the back. “Now let’s go find a ghost!”

Dipper gaped at him for a moment, before gritting his teeth and turning away to storm up the path. He could practically feel smugness oozing off the demon, but at this point he hardly cared. He just wanted to find the kids, get them away from the ghost or ghosts, and get home. That was it.

He perked up as the voice ahead got louder. He began hearing snatches of words, but more importantly, he could recognize some of his kids’ voices, as well.

“They're just up ahead,” he whispered to the demon, slowing down as he snuck forward. He could see a sharp curve in the path ahead – it looked as if it entered a cave, just below the top of the peak. The rising moon cast an ominous glow on the rock face. “I'll take a peek. If the kids are in trouble, I'll go in with an incantation, and you back me up, okay?”

“Sure thing, Pine Tree.”

The two snuck forward, the voice getting clearer and clearer as they approached the turn. “...and that's when the rope snapped! I thought I was a goner for sure!” There were small gasps and scared exclamations. “I know, right?” the voice continued. Dipper hesitated. The voice didn't sound all that bad... maybe another counselor had found the kids first? “But, thankfully, there was a ledge. I managed to brace myself on it, and spent the next few hours painstakingly climbing down to my last stop.” He was almost to the turn. He could hear the sound of the kids whispering excitedly to one another underneath the woman's voice. “I had to stay there for three whole days before a rescue showed up... but I made it!”

The kids were cheering as Dipper slowly poked his head around the corner, braced for anything.

He was not expecting two ice blue eyes staring straight into his.

He jumped back with a yelp, the edge of the path crumbling underneath his heel. There was the awful sensation of falling, and for a brief moment, he was in free-fall.

He screamed.

His descent was halted abruptly by a pair of hands grabbing his arm, hefting him back up the cliff-face like he weighed nothing. He briefly caught a glimpse of Bill's face before the demon dropped him on the ground. He landed on his backside, cradling his jarred arm.

“Careful, Pine Tree!” the demon chuckled. “I'll have to call 'Timber' next time!”

“Shut up, Bill,” Dipper muttered, rolling his shoulder and looking up again.

The blue eyes, as it turned out, belonged to what looked like a young woman with a thick, strong build and long braided hair. He might have described her as of African-American descent, but it was kind of difficult to tell with the ghostly glow of light that emanated from her being. She smiled cheerfully at him.

“Sorry about that! Didn't mean to scare ya, friend!” She winked. “I'd offer you a hand, but ah... 'fraid it wouldn't be much of a help, huh?” She chuckled.

Through her, Dipper could see the kids, all eight of them, well and accounted for and peering curiously at them from their spots, sitting around a small campfire in the open cave. He heaved a sigh of relief, slowly pulling himself to his feet. “I, uh... I guess you're the ghost of Mount Haunt, then?”

She laughed. “The one and only!” She gestured to the kids. “I was just tellin' the lot of them about some of my survival stories. Or...” she chuckled, a somewhat self-mocking echo to it, “most of them, anyway. I always like to start with my non-survival story, ya know? Get it out of the way and move on to happier thoughts!” She peered past him, up at the night sky. “Oh, but it's rather late, isn't it?” She floated back into the cave, ignoring Dipper's somewhat dumbfounded face. “Alright, kids, it's been quite lovely, but I'm afraid it's time to go.”  
Dipper anticipated the choir of groans that greeted this announcement, but he was both surprised and impressed at how quickly they cut off when the ghost woman “tsk!”d disapprovingly at them. “Now now, ya'll've heard plenty of stories tonight – and you can _always_ come back next year!” She floated a few inches higher, literally lifted by the thought. “That would be just great! But, for now,” and she lowered again, “go on and follow Counselor Bill and... Sorry, sugar, don't think I caught your name?”

“Dipper... Dipper Pines.” 

“And Counselor Dipper, and they'll git you home all right!” As the kids stood and collected themselves, she turned back to the two counselors, one dumbfounded, the other...

Wait a minute.

The ghost beamed at Bill. “Gotta say, this was an absolute  _treat_ ! Those kids have a real future in survivalism, heck! Maybe even better than me!” She giggled behind one hand. “Anyways, thank ya for bringing 'em up here, Bill. Hope to see you next year!” She gave them both a wave, and with a poof, she vanished.

Bill smiled lazily, waving back at the place she'd been, while Dipper stood dumbfounded. “Alright, Pine Tree, time to get these kids back, huh?”

Dipper narrowed his eyes, rounding on the demon. “ _You_ .”

“Me!”

“You _knew_ they were here the whole _time_?!”

Bill laughed. “Well, yeah! You don't think they got past all those pitfalls by themselves, did you?”

Dipper was about to respond with a tirade of less-than-G-rated words, and only just choked them down as a chorus of “Thank you Counselor Bill!”s echoed from the kids. He swallowed heavily, eye twitching furiously as he glared at Bill. 

He dropped his voice. “While I'm in Gravity Falls, I'm going to make you.  _Miserable_ .”

To his endless annoyance, Bill just laughed. “Oh, Kid,” he chuckled,

_I'm looking forward to it._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that! Bill's a dick, this was fun to write, and thank you Crispy for your great prompt (also everyone should go read her Out Of The Blue Siren fic~!)

**Author's Note:**

> Right now I'm trying to wrap this up in a tidy three chapters, but just know that it might be extended.


End file.
